That one song Mötley Crüe did, that involved Home, and Sweet, and Home again

I just realised something.

Tomorrow (and as I'm writing this at 11.56pm after watching the A-Team movie (seriously good movie, I recommend it fully), by the time I post this and you read this, it will be today), I will have spent 6 weeks exactly away from home.

6 weeks. 42 days.

Holy shit. Has it really been that long? XD

Not to say that I'm not missing you guys; I don't think a day has gone by when I've not checked here or Facebook and thought, "I wish I'd been there to see that." or "I've been away so long that that I don't get that in-joke."

And don't get me wrong, I love student live. The course so far is easy to get to grips with. The workload is fairly bearable. The nightlife is... an experience, but not a bad one. I can eat when I want, what I want, do whatever whenever. Plus, my room is huge and it has an Xbox, so you know, whatever ;P

But the fact that just 6 weeks ago, I had no idea what life as a student would be like, how I'd cope and was thinking about how I'd never been away from my home and my family for any real length of time, scares me a little. Before now, the longest I've been completely family-less was over the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Expedition. A single weekend. Yeah, that sucks.

But even then, I was safe in the knowledge that I was going home at some point. That there was a set, defined time that I would be back in my comfort zone. It's like leaving home was the same as taking up the trapeze, and I alway knew that every time I tried to do it, there was a safety net underneath to catch me, so it's not all bad if I do fall.

So how much have I actually changed in 6 weeks? Without that safety net under me, have I managed to trapeze spectacularly?

I think so.

Back in Tapton, if someone had said "Party at my place!" my response would always have been "Oh, yeah, well, I would, but you see, umm, ahh, my, er, kidney removed. Tonight. For science." First off, I've come up with much better excuses. But second, I'm actually going out and partying... well, clubbing... well, trying to dance with other people who are drunker, tireder but still better dancers than I am. And you know what? I actually enjoy it. (Well, it depends on the music. If it's anything good. And I mean regular good, not Stokes' good. (=P Love you XD))

And 6 weeks ago, if you told me that I'd be content cooking my own meals every mealtime, I'd have slapped you in the face (unless you were a girl) and then cooked you a meal and force-fed you it as punishment. But now, I can actually motherfrikking cook! (Microwave chips and pot noodles count as home cooking, right?)

Finally, I think I've matured. Not in the pull-my-finger sense, that me is still immature as hell. I mean, I think I come across as older than I did before. Sure, bouncers keep asking me for ID to get in and I might have to have photo proof to buy the Saw Septrilogy after I've had a shave and am wearing my favourite "I'm 10 today!" birthday card badge, but people are treating me like some form of adult. I can go into a bank, and they start calling me Mr Baker. Professors, lecturers and teachers are letting me call them by their first name, rather than "Sir/Miss" (Dave, our Maths for Physicists lecturer, refuses to talk to people unless they call him some version of "DAAAVE-OOO!"). And one of the guys in our lab session came up to me, asked how to solve an equation, and was amazed I wasn't one of the post-grads helping out. In fairness, I was helping my friend set up a circuit I'd done 5 minutes beforehand, but the point remains: I THINK I'M GETTING OLD! AND IT'S SHOWING!

I don't know though. I don't want to learn to drive yet (although it wouldn't be much use at the moment if I did, I'm living five minutes away from ANYTHING inside Liverpool), I still play card games meant for children (supposedly, they're so complicated you need 5 years just to learn the bloody rules), and I still haven't matured enough to not laugh at fart jokes, or get over my fussiness about certain foods (no matter how old I get, I will always want to outlaw oranges).

And so, this is where you guys come in. In twelve days (I want you to count down to this, cos it's gonna be awesome), I am boarding a train and coming back to the Steel City. And hopefully... no, definately, even if I have to come around to your houses individually, I will see you guys then (I know Jake will be in Durham, and it's gonna suck not seeing everyone at once =( but there's always Christmas =D).

And when I see you, I would like you to appraise me.

Not in like a "Mmmm, he fine," kind of way (although I reckon Stokes will do that anyway :/), I mean to see how much I've changed. Call it an experiment. At some point, probably a few minutes or so into us meeting up (it'll probably be a pub session, or I could invite people around to what was once my family home), I'd like you all to give me a value of how much I've changed. Then, we can average those values, then divide that by the 8 weeks I'll have been away for (so 4838400 seconds, about) and that'll give me a rate of change.

Ok, I've been doing too much Physics XD

So, you probably don't remember what I was like when I left. I'll remind you: I was that one who was 6-foot but couldn't play basketball, stupid stuck-up hair, occasionally wore that big black army coat (although I sometimes still do) and hung out with you guys for a good 5 years, at least. Actually, I'd hope that the impression I left is enough. (Oh, and I was terrible at impressions.)

Ok, picture it. Got it? Good.

Well, I'm pretty much out of things to say. So I guess I'll see you all in 2 weeks, give or take =D

And look, it's now 1am. I'm an hour into my 6-week-being-a-student birthday XD

My 3rd great passion

...is music =P
The 1st being physics/maths and the 2nd being card games XD

I have no idea what you're all gonna think of this post and I'm sure Baker is gonna disagree with things XD

Anywho I'm gonna tell yas all about me musical life becasue I have nothing to do for a few hours =P

The year is 1999, I'm 5 and am beginning to be aware of the music industry. My mum and dad like the generic pop thats in the charts (which back then was tolerable) and my bro was in love with Metallica and Iron Maiden. I got into the pop genre and was listening (non-religiously) to S Club 7, Steps, Westlife etc... hideous thought of me i know =P

Anyway...

This continued till one summer holiday. Every year my dad would make me and mah bro a cassette tape for the car journey. In 2003 when i was 9, we were going through my CDs and I rejected most of them. For me that was pretty astonishing to cast aside most of what i liked and ended up with a cassette with about 4 tracks on it =P. After this I had a hiatus for a couple of years where i didn't listen to much at all.

But that all changed...

In 2005 we got the game, Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition which is a racing game despite the name =P. These two tracks were on it and they completely changed my view on music.

I'd never thought electric guitars could be used to create such an atmorphere and i becan to appreciate them. At the time I didnt really like Metallica or Iron Maiden but i thought the style could be better. After playing FF IIV, I liked techno to a degree but didn't really want to persue that either. I began to listen to this American punk-rock/metal but didn't go much further then these two bands. =P

AND THEN GUITAR HERO 3 CAME OUT...
...in 2007 and I felt like I was on drugs XD. It introduced me into the more sort of generic and genre specific rock and metal such as Disturbed and . From hereon I listened to nothing but metal. I couldn't quite put me finger on it... it had a specific quality but most of the bands were touch and go... a majority of tracks didn't quench my thirst for metal. As we all know Dragonforce - Through the Fire and Flames was on GH3 and that was one of the most awesome tracks I'd ever heard and the power metal genre was the only one that grabbed me entirely, there was nothing I wouldn't listen to from it.

Then came GH World Tour in 2008... and that game's credits track:

I honsetly can't put into words how much awesome was thrown at my face in the space of 8 munites 14 seconds. THE MELODY, THE TECHNIQUE... EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING!!! This one track changed my life effectively =P

From then till now I've loved my prog metal. Becasue of this i have an endless need to search for new ideas and compositions. My absoulte favorite album of all time is Dreyelands - Rooms of Revelation. This album is about delving into the deepest, darkest parts of our minds and opening the doors to insanity that we all have (Mr Criticoss would be proud of me for that sentance). This also has the first track ever than made me go goosebumpy...

The varience, abnormality and expressionistic harmonies are seconded only to classical music. (sorry Rach =P). What the hell lets talk about classical music too =P

You should all know im a penis... I mean a pianist... and specifically love the baroque era of music which generically has broken chords in the left hand and the melody in the right. Now we get onto Ludovico Einaudi who I first heard on the way to shcool one morning and he just blew me away...

To me the solo piano i better than orchesteral pieces. Orchestras use violins far too much. I feel that with violins, violas and the like make you focus too much on the resonance of the strink rather than the note it plays... sounds wierd but i know what i mean =P. For me the piano doesn't do that, its simply press the key and you get a note... nothing else... clean and simple. Well thats about all i can dragon say about classical...

I want to say about society's music... it's shit and contributes nothing to the world...

I'm sure you all don't need this but here is a generic track... the horriffic thing it is has more likes than dislikes. In my mind that means that over half the population of youtube (which statistically must be a similar ratio but smaller population to a global market) likes it...  It's explicit I'll warn you now but if you have a brain you can come up with a better track in yer 'ead withought knowing how bad this is.

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Lets get that hideous musical abomination off the screen XD
And there ends my journey... lets ignore the last bit about society... that was me going off on a tangent =P

I have about 100 bands on my ipod still to listen to and moar bands will be recommended from them... I've got my work cut out =P

Stokachu =3

STRESS

Ok, several things are stressing me out right now:

1) Fucking essay. Writing is not my forte. "A single scientific experiment that changed the world"... I know many experiments. I don't want to write about the gold foil atom thing cos we did that to death in physics. I wanted to do Landsteiner's blood groups but there are only 2 books in the library about Landsteiner and both are irrelevant. Structure of DNA makes me angry cos Crick and Watson did almost nothing to work out the structure. And a friend is already doing Jenner, which I thought of by myself, but she'll see it as copying and I cba with friend issues this early on. Also referencing why how bluh?

2) Homestuck game Kickstarter! Boo ya getting me the gamepak 1 plus seerpak plus slickpak. Everything is awesome. Expensively awesome but it's ok cos Bevan and I are sharing so we split the cost woooooo! I can't wait for 2014! Oh dear, what is that Amazon payments? Payment declined? Oh ok, that's alright I'll pledge through PayPal on whatpumpkin instead, I'll cancel the Kickstarter everything will be cool. Yeah, see, got a confirmation email there saying I won't be charged. What's that bank statement? Charged twice? DA FUQ!

3) Work at McDonald's is SHIT and taking up all my free time and I'm still paying too much tax. I had to work all last weekend. I want to quit but I need the money. Being poor sucks.

4) Grandad's had another heart attack, and I can't visit him in the hospital cos I have to write the essay. Fuck you, universe.

Sorry to get all heavy with that, but Jake said anything is better than nothing. Hopefully I'll have fun again soon.

So you want to kill the people who framed you for murder?

First off, I love that the Label for "Aweosme" Games is spelt like it is XD

Recently, I picked up a copy of Dishonored. And more recently, I completed it. I know, I should be focused on my studies, but c'mon, when was the last time Bethesda made a decent game? (I know, there are hundreds =P)

 

The trailer is suprisingly close to the finished game.

So, is it good. The short answer: yes.

The long answer: BLOODY HELL YES, GO OUT AND BUY IT TOMORROW BY SELLING BOTH YOUR ORGANS AND YOUR BODY AS A PROSTITUTE.

Storylinewise, the game can't be faulted. You play as Corvo Atticano, resident mute protagonist and Royal Protector to the Empress of Dunwall.
... Or you would do, if the Empress wasn't ruthlessly murdered by teleporting assassins 5 minutes into the opening credits. Suffice it to say, 6 months later, the man who ordered the assassination is on the throne, and Corvo wants retribution. He's been dishonoured (see, see where that title comes from?) and he wants a slice of revenge pie. With a vengeance filling. And a bloodlust custard poured all over it. And chocolate sprinkles. That's not part of the metaphor, he just has a sweet tooth.

So, casually breaking out of prison with the help of some Loyalists who want to put the Empress's kidnapped 11-year-old daughter on the throne (cos that makes all of the sense, "Your Highness, what do you plan to do about the army attacking us?" "BRING ME A PONY!"), you pledge yourself to rescuing the girl, defeating the tyrant and restoring peace to the Empire. Meanwhile, the entire city is being besieged by plague, and the city guard (basically this game's version of Skyrim's "Took an arrow to the knee") are trying to keep the peace.
By butchering everyone who looks even remotely poor. With fire arrows. Yeah. Good guys right there.

Into this, the game gives you a range of magical powers, from Blink (teleporting), through Bend Time, to Possession (there's nothing better than walking right past some guys by possessing their mate). This range of powers can be bought at any time with runes found throught the levels, and each one gives you more control over the environment. The game is designed for people to explore and find creative ways of reaching their targets. Needless to say, once you get the hang of how to use the powers to the best of their ability, you hardly even bother with the knife anymore, and just bounce around the map while everything else is stuck in slow motion. The only thing that stops me from jumping for joy at the originality of this is that most of the powers are ripped off. Bend Time is nice, but in all honest it's the same thing as Slow Time in Skyrim, just done a bit better. And you might as well be given a lightsabre given Windblast. I mean, Possession could be renamed "Jedi Mind Tricks" and the mechanic wouldn't really change. "You want to forget you ever saw Corvo." "I want to forget I ever saw Corvo." "You want to take your sword and distract your guard friends by removing their spleens." "I want to-" You get the idea.


The game is both drawn beautifully and designed expertly. The steampunk, gothic era the story is set in gives off a perfect vibe for the assassination backstory, and the placement of vents, ledges and external pipes provide plenty of routes to your goal. Most games get stuck over linearity and either fall into the trap and make the game nothing but one way corridors (see Call of Duty), or throw out the straight line from Plot Point A to Mission Start B by making the game a huge area of nothing but sandbox gaming (see GTA). But this game has found the niche: every mission only has around 2 or 3 ways to complete your mission, and the game flows from one mission to another no matter which way you choose, but the paths to get to those points are completely up to you. Running straight through guards to get there as fast as possible, although frowned upon, is still an option. But with around 5 or 6 different sets of ledges to move around and buildings to sneak through, and factoring in the number of powers that you have at your disposal, there's almost an endless number of ways to get through to your target. There's no better feeling than finding a pipe that conveniently lets you skip a few dozen guards and line you up perfectly for a crossbow bolt to the back of your prey's head.

But where the game really comes into its own is in the core concept; it's a stealth game first and an assassin game second. The game congratulates you on getting through levels completely unseen, and the more people you kill, the harder the game gets later on. The city watch get paranoid and begin using more and more technology to boost their arsenal. By the time you hit the last level, based on how bloodthirsty you are, the final area is either pretty open and casual, or reinforced like Guantanamo Bay. There's even a group of achievements (or if you play PS3, trophies *ergh, I feel dirty just mentioning them*) that are given to you for finding ways to eliminate your target without killing anyone, even the targets themselves. For example, at one point you are tasked to eliminate Lady Boyle, the main antagonist's lady friend. A guy walks up to you at one point and offers to "take her off your hands". If you carry her unconscious to him, he'll pretty much kidnap her and leave without a trace. Creepy, but success.

So, problems? The only one I ever found was distances. Mainly, there's very little room for error with how far behind a guard you have to be before you can either silently slit their throat or choke them out. If you happen to be too far away, the game says "Oh, he must want to block in the loudest way possible", leading to said guard turning round and going, "Oh wait, he's the guy I'm supposed to be killing on sight." That's another thing, the game is pretty bad on realism when it comes to guard vision and hearing. You can happily squat on a clearly visible awning with guards walking underneath you without looking up in case it damages their fragile necks (I say fragile, I mean highly slashable >=D), or spend 5 seconds choking a guy out about 3 feet from his friend, and the guy won't be able to hear the gurgling, or the "Help me, I'm getting murdered, oh, that's right, we all took that course in Deafness 101, well down I go". Honestly, you'd think that after they noticed 4 or 5 guards had gotten knocked out from behind, they'd start a buddy system.

Another thing that was mildly annoying was the save system. In Dishonored, you get the standard thing where you can save as many different files as you have console memory. However, the game autosaves every few minutes, pretty much everytime you hit a new area or particularly hard bit of assassineering. For the most part, these get overwritten every time. But for every new level, the game starts a new autosave. This helps the game to remember which powers and upgrades you bought when, which is pretty awesome if you're playing the game start to finish. But when you come to load a file, and if like me you try to keep the number of different save files to a minimum, you get bombarded with about 40 different autosaves of different levels, including ones you've gone back and replayed. And replaying isn't as much fun as you think: you go back to Level 3 to try to get that one achievement (or trophy *blergh*) you missed, after playing around with maximum Blink, Bend Time and equiptment upgrades on Level 9, the game reverts you back to the crappy, blundering, murder every guard you see just cos you don't have any experience at stealth douche of an "unseen" assassin you were back then. In honesty, when I bought it, I thought you'd at least be able to jump back in time and go "Oh, I remember when this was difficult, but now I've got an entire arsenal of magical powers to back me up, I can do it in seconds."

Overall, the game can't be called bad, in any way. Sure it could have a few tweaks to the mechanics, but there are no other games that have ever come as close as this game to mastering first-person stealth and movement. Mirror's Edge stumbled on jumps and Deus Ex: Human Revolution came close, but Dishonored blows both of them out of the water with a well-placed Force Push... I mean, Windblast (Cos they're so different). Seriously, any game that can convince Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Leia) to provide her voice for 5 minutes worth of propaganda speakers in the background must be pretty friggin awesome.

Baker Rating - 9/10 knives bathed in the blood of your enemies, 1 still clean from a couple of minor irritations

I haven't posted in a week...

...I should rectify this immediately.

I have just completed the toughest physics problem I have ever attempted ever. I kicked that beast into submission and it whimpered for mercy and I said NO and I kicked it some more.

Then I realized I'd done it wrong. Apparently the velocity of a particle can't be an imaginary number. Who knew?

But then I started again and kicked that beast some more and I emerged VICTORIOUS. And it only took me, what... two hours? Although a lot of that time was spent lounging around racking my slow, sleep deprived brain for answers. Answers which it wouldn't give I might add. Sometimes my brain can be very uncooperative. For those crazy, crazy people who are interested, the problem is at the bottom of this post.

In other news, I recently completed the absolutely spectacular game known as Rayman Origins. Here's a video if you aren't aware of it.

What makes this game spectacular? Quite a number of things really. Lets start with the quality that anyone can appreciate even if they have never picked up a joypad in their life: The game looks stunning. The art style is charming. The environments are detailed, vibrant and colourful. "Eye candy" doesn't even begin to cover it. But I've always been a firm believer that how a game looks must always take a back seat to the gameplay, to whether or not the game is actually good. Fortunately, Rayman Origins delivers in spades.

The Rayman games have always been of the platforming genre. For those not in the know, think Mario. You run, you jump, you try not to fall down pits, you collect shiny yellow things (in Mario's case, coins. In Rayman's, little yellow fairies called Lums) and you generally have a good time. For these kinds of games, the controls are by far the most important aspect to consider, with the level design a close second. On the controls front, Origins is near perfect. Rayman and his friends respond to the slightest touch of a button, they can change direction instantly even when running at maximum speed and the precise height and distance of every jump, with practice, can be manipulated. The only other game I've played that I feel rivals this level of precision is Super Meat Boy, but that's for another post.

As for the level design, no two stages felt similar throughout my entire playthorough. Each one offers a slightly different experience from the last. The game slowly introduces new concepts and mechanics throughout it's first half, such as Rayman's signature move of using his hair as a makeshift helicopter, or the ability to swim underwater, preventing the challenges from ever becoming stale. In the second half of the game, with a fully kitted out set of abilities, the designers pull out all the stops and you begin combining the different moves in ways you wouldn't have even thought possible to begin with. It all gets very devious towards the end, you have been warned.

The many areas that Rayman can visit in his adventure are hugely varied as well. Sure you have your basic classics, such as Jungle, Desert, Ocean, etc... but Origins manages to put it's own unique spin on each one. The desert, for example, also shares a musical theme, with drums and cymbals becoming the platforms. It's certainly refreshing and if I'm being perfectly honest, Mario could learn a thing or two from it.

So yeah. Play it if you haven't already. You might like it.

Until next time.

Jake

P.S, Here's that problem. Baker, Stokes, Matt... Good Luck

You'll have to imagine the diagram, it won't upload.

A water hose is used to fill a large cylindrical container of diameter D and height 2D. The hose shoots water at a 45 degree angle to the horizontal from the same level as the base of the tank, and is a distance 6D away. For what range of launch speeds will the water enter the tank? Ignore air resistance and express your answer in terms of D and g.

Jake's RPG in-game card game... created by me =P

OH YEAH THIS IS SHIT COMPARED TO YU-GI-OH... ahem...

Yeah so ive made the game relitavely straight-forward but i think there are some things ive thrown in there which are unneccessairy... MEH Jake can decide =P

ON WITH TEH RULES

The game is played on a 7x7 grid:
 

The far left column is the opponents set up zone and the far right column is your set up zone

This is what Mario would look like if he was a card:

The numbers correspond to these values:

1. Power
2. Defence
3. HP
4. Abilities or flavor text
5. Le picture (obv =P)
6. Attack directions
7. The background colour it's element
8. Movement points

General rules:
Both players chose 1-7 cards and place them as they wish face down in their set-up zones facing any direction. When both players are happy with the placement then they are all flipped up. Each turn a player can do both of the following ONLY ONCE each (not once per creature):

• Move
• Attack
• (abilities are not considered an action unless stated)

For example you can move one creature, then attack with a different one, then thats the end of the turn.

A card must move upward (the top boarder on the Mario card) an cannot move any further than its Movement points (MP). You can turn 90 degrees for 1 MP.

For attacking you can only attack cards in adjacent squares that have an attack arrow pointing at them (unless an ability changes it) and can only attack one enemy. For battles simply compare the Power of the attacker and Defence of the defender. If the Power is higher then the difference is taken off the defenders HP. If the Defence is higher then nothing happens. If this game didn't have life points... i wouldn't have made it =P

THATS THE GIST OF IT.
If anyone has any ideas and especially if Jake isn't satisfied with anything for whatever reason then tell me =P
Im thinking of putting power-ups in or some obstacles... ideas... my brain is full of em O__O

Stokachu =3

I'm waiting for the laundry...

...so I have twenty-five minutes to kill. Blog time.

I made a to-do list this morning. I'm pretty sure I've never made a to-do list in my life, not counting marking down homework in a planner. I mean a list of actual non-education related things I have to do now that I have no slaves.... I mean parents!... to do it for me. Like buy toothpaste. And do the laundry.

I'm still coming to terms with things like this. Sure, I get fed, but aside from that I'm mostly in charge of myself and it's a lot tougher than I originally thought it would be. And I just remembered I didn't put my bathmat in to be washed with the rest of the stuff goddammit!

I notice I've been using the phrase "Live and Learn" a lot recently. Like once every sodding hour. Every time I forget to do something obvious usually.

Let's switch to a less sore subject. My course has officially begun now, but has yet to get into full swing. I've had a full week of lectures, (friday was a nightmare. Six lectures. SIX) but extra things like practicals and tutorials don't start till tomorrow. I've been asked the question what do we call work that's set outside of lectures? Homework? Somehow that doesn't seem right. I haven't fallen behind with anything just yet, but I'm sure the panic will set in soon.

I went to bed at 2 in the morning last night, and got up at 12:30. That's another thing I have never done before in my life, but I would say I had good reason. We were watching Grease. And the Incredibles. (Such a good movie!) Halfway through, we received a knock at the door. Thinking it was one of our corridor mates, we told them to come in. No one answered. Nervous glances were exchanged. Then, an incredibly drunk guy with no trousers on (yes, really) stumbled into the room. The conversation that ensued had this marvellous moment...

Us: Listen to us. Just stay still and listen for a second, this isn't your room. Look, you have to leave, this isn't your room!
(Long pause)
Him: Hey.....I don't..... think....... this is my room....

Yeah.

Enough from me, I gotta go check the laundry. I'm doing it in a friends accommodation block, because they have bigger machines, the lucky bastards.

Until next time.

Jake

Rolley's first post :)

What's up peeps? Hey so I've been meaning to give this blogging thing a go for a while, but as I'm not at uni, or getting killed by assassins, or drinking, or going clubbing, or reading stupidly big textbooks and getting woken up by fire drills at 6:30 in the morning, I haven't had anything nearly as interesting to say to compete with all the awesome.. till now. It's probably not actually that interesting but never mind.

So last Wednesday I was all excited to see Michael McIntyre in the evening at the arena. I've had these tickets booked for the best part of two years, and I made sure I put them in a safe place tucked into a little shelf in the kitchen, and went off to work that day all happy and content.

When I got back I got locked out and didn't have a key. No worries, Tom (my brother) is probably upstairs in bed so I gave him a call... twice.. no answer. Lazy poohead. I then went and knocked next door as they have a copy of our key. No answer, so I climbed over the fence juggling my jacket and saxophone case and tried our secret Rolley way (which is censored sorry) of opening the back door which would've worked, had it not been that the door was locked from a latch on the inside, which it hardly ever is, but just had to be on that day. At which point I confess I shouted "damn it!" and kicked the back door... I know... Rolley momentarily lost her patience... my bad.

Then I realised, Tom actually had to go to london for his work that day.. mum and dad are at work, the Michael McIntyre tickets are inside and NO ONE WILL BE HOME BEFORE I HAVE TO LEAVE!! NOOOOOOOOO!?!?!!

After looking about wildly in panic for a while, I noticed that the upstairs bathroom window was slightly ajar, and if I could just get up onto the roof above the kitchen, I could slip through the window and all would be well!

I looked about me for suitable climbing materials and spied the two picnic tables, the blue recycling bin and the trampoline. I was tempted just to use the trampoline to bounce onto the roof for laughs, but I didn't want to break my leg and miss Michael McIntyre anyway. So I pulled up one of the tables, balanced the blue bin on top and just got up level with the roof when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. It was Tom,

"Hi rach I just got two missed calls from you"
"Tom! where are you??"
"Just coming up the road, I've been to get my haircut before I go to London, where are you?"

Err.. well.. how do I explain this?

So in the end, Tom let me in and all was well, but I've got to admit, I'm a little disappointed that Tom called me at that moment, as I was curious to see if I could actually make it onto the roof with a picnic table and a bin. But the worst thing was after all this, when I was waiting for Michael McIntyre to start, I suddenly realised..

There's a ladder in the shed.

Crap.

Gaaaaaaaah!

Do you guys want to know something interesting? Something I just realized about say... 24 hours ago?

University is HARD WORK.

It's funny, at the beginning of my A-levels I was told that "this will the be the hardest stage of my education" and "the jump from GCSE to A-level is by far the biggest". I'm not so sure. Did you see the size of that physics textbook?! That covers the first year of my university physics education. And because of my course (physics and maths) that takes up less than half of my modules this year. I may have no personal experience of the other departments, but just one glance at the required reading material from say, theology or classics, (courtesy of my corridor mates) makes me feel quite faint.

It's true that the size of a textbook only speaks about the volume of material to be learnt, and not necessarily it's difficulty. Once again, I can only speak for maths and physics, but the average mark for the end of year examinations in my modules is about 60%, and the mock exams in January have a rather measly average of 40%. Considering the fact that most of the people who come to to Durham are hard-working people, (they had to get the A-levels in the first place after all) this is absolutely terrifying.

People who had the "pleasure" of being in my general presence while I'm in full revision mode (my family mostly) will know that when it comes to tests and exams, I'm a perfectionist. Every question I get wrong I scrutinize. Why did I get it wrong? What was the flaw in my understanding? Did I just have a massive derpy moment of screaming, unforgivable stupidity? It's more often than not the last one. And all those derpy moments add up.

And I'm expected, on average, to lose nearly HALF of the marks on the test?!

This is destroying my mind.

Nothing to do for three hours.

Hey everyone! The non-stop slew of activity that was fresher's week is finally over and today's the day I start my lectures! It's time to start learning some shit!

...Or that would be the case, if my very first lecture hadn't just been cancelled on account of a power cut. Suffice to say I am rather peeved, I got up at 7:30 for this!

But anyway, this does mean I now have three hours to kill until my next (hopefully UN-cancelled) lecture, so what better way to spend the time than write a blog post! I've been falling behind on them after all.

I think I'll talk about the Durham Assassin society.

The assassin society has the following slogan, "Make friends, then kill them!" That is the general gist. A standard deathmatch game has the following rules: any member of the society can "kill" any other member through a variety of interesting methods, from the mundane (shooting with nerf guns, stabbing with paper knifes) to the down right ridiculous (time bombs, voodoo rituals, pits of bubble wrap). From the moment the game starts in a couple of weeks, it is running all the time, everywhere. Well, almost everywhere, the game for obvious reasons is ineffective during lectures and in certain other areas, but for the most part, anywhere is fair game to be brutally murdered. Legendary assassinations quite literally go down in history through the retelling of stories. It's all very geeky.

I, through a brief moment of sheer insanity, (or probably just stupidity), put my name down for this bloodbath.

I'm scared.

I am however, interested to see how it all plays out. The people who run the society (more commonly referred to as "The Guild" naturally) are known to be brutally efficient in their kills. They WILL come knocking at your door and wait for you to leave so they can kill you. In this game, camping really is a legitimate strategy! It is up to you to devise escape methods, up to you to learn about your targets and when they'll be at their most vulnerable, and it's up to you to cast aside your fear and become a cold, killing machine. Fun times!

So tell me, anyone who's at uni, what interesting societies you signed up for! And when I say interesting, I mean interesting.

Until next time.

Jake

EDIT: Turns out all my lectures today were in that same building. Every single one of them: cancelled. This does not bode well for the rest of the year.

Fresher's week: Day 5

During my stay at Grey College, Durham, I have already been woken up by the drunk ramblings of some of my dorm mates and the wailing siren of a fire alarm. Yesterday morning I can now add to that list the sound of a metal spoon being smashed against a saucepan repeatedly. This was the wake up call we received at 7 in the morning so we would be ready in time to put on our stupid, stupid gowns to head outside after breakfast to have our picture taken as a whole year. In truth, the experience could have been a lot worse, but it would have been slightly less bothersome if there hadn't been a great big honking wasp flying in frenzied circles around the lot of us. Seriously, it just wouldn't leave.

But anyway, that wasn't the main event of the morning. The main event of the morning was matriculation. Matriculation is where we scoot our gown-clad arses down to Durham Cathedral. That's this place.

It looks like Hogwarts.

We then had to sit through about an hour of talking about how awesome Durham is. The history was rather interesting, but I would rather not have been told it all whilst sitting in a cold cathedral hall and desperately needing the loo. The whole point of this ridiculous fiasco was to have someone sign a document on behalf of our entire college to make us official members of the university.

Wait... what?

You mean we weren't members already?!

This is the most lame-ass tradition ever.

But moving swiftly onward, the rest of the day was essentially taken up by this thing called the Freshers Society Fair, which is where everyone heads down to the students union and observes all the crazy, bizzare stalls that people have set up to advertise martial arts, or underwater hockey, or Marxism  or or or........ LESBIANISM.

Well okay, that last one was the LGBTA, but you get the idea.

I joined various geeky groups like the games and anime and manga societies. More info on those when I actually try those out.

Now, for the most interesting bit of the day.

That evening, I did something I thought I would never do.

Are you ready for this?

I don't think you are.

Really, you're sure?

Okay then.

I

DRANK

A BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

........Well. An alcoholic ginger beer. And I mean actually alcoholic, not the imaginary 0.5% that may or may not exist in normal ginger beer. Because I drank it on a relatively empty stomach, I noticed the effects rather quickly. Not extremely obviously, I only drank the one, but I definitely felt a bit wobbly (or "Squiffy" as my new friend Emily would put it) and I definitely felt more relaxed. But the real question is, did I enjoy it? In short... meh. It was interesting, and I may possibly try it again, (and it didn't taste bad either) but I really don't see myself having enough to get anywhere close to being actually drunk. It's one more thing I can say I've done though, so that's something.

Wow, this post was originally gonna contain Wednesday and Thursday, but I've ranted longer than I thought I would. I'll do that another time.

Until then.

Jake

The Coughing Game

My friends in Physics and I have invented a new game for use in Lectures.

The first thing that one notices when in a lecture is the number of people in the lecture itself. Now this is understandable, as there has to be everyone doing the course in the room at the same time. However, there are things that, if like me you have a short attention span and get distracted on the tiniest things, you notice pretty quickly.
Like that there are acceptable and unacceptable times to cough during the lecture. This period of acceptablility always begins when there is a lull in the speaker's presentation, and continues as long as people carry on coughing. From this, a few of us have devised a game to play in particularly uninteresting lectures, like the one on significant figures we were in when we thought this pile of bullsheet up. Here are the main rules:
1/ The idea of the game is to keep the coughing going continuously for as long as possible.
2/ A player may not begin the coughing spree, but must wait for an NPC to cough.
3/ A player may cough for no more than 3 seconds (not measured, just by observation), after which another player should begin, continuing the chain. Unless a player is actually choking, in which case forget the game, save yourself by coughing as long as necessary.
4/ Should 2 players cough simultaneously, or a player and NPC cough simultaneously, the chain is broken and the players must start again when another NPC coughs.
5/ As a rule to allow NPCs to continue to listen, coughing must remain at a reasonable volume, loud enough for players to hear it but not so loud that it disrupts everyone else. Penalty shushes will be handed out.
Our current record is around a minute, but that's just because some guys doing the lecture still had Freshers' Flu. Give it a go when you're being taught something you could do in your sleep and report back if you find it fun =P

Fresher's week: Day 4

Remember what I said in my last post about the possibility of today being dull?

REALLY should have known better.

First things first, I was nearly late for breakfast, but that was my own dumb fault for not setting my alarm to the right time. Oops... :P

The rest of the morning was chewed up by this lovely little thing called module registration. Essentially you just go to the relevant department and tell them your module choices. (which you've already fully confirmed online ANYWAY I might add). Some good things did come out of this however, for one, I got to meet my "Academic Advisor" for maths, Dr. Bowcock. Baker, I know you just recovered from Stoke's post, but you can stop giggling now.

Put mildly, he seems quite utterly mad. But that's okay, mathematicians are aloud to be.

Next I went to register my physics modules and in the process was forced to buy the following monstrosity... for 41 pounds!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a 1500 page physics textbook.

And yes, I did nerdgasm.

Next up, a bunch of friends from my corridor were going down to town to get various supplies, which  I quite frankly needed. (Bathmats, yay!) However, like the grade A IDIOT that I am, I went out in a t-shirt. Rain happened. I got wet.

Fortunately, the official university waterstones shop was at hand! Subsequently, I was forced to by the following monstrosity... for 35 pounds!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a forest green Durham University hoodie.

And yes, I was kidding about it being a monstrosity. It's actually quite awesome.

You think I'm done? Oh no, just an hour ago, there was an evening performance in the dining room from a man named Adam Night.

Adam Night is a hypnotist.

Have you ever seen 16 grown people, some wearing what looked like bedsheets, (apparently there was a toga party going on. What the hell is a toga party!?) imagining they're all milking cows? Or riding horses? Or watching a pornographic film? Yeah, I thought so. It was bloody hilarious.

All in all, today was certainly NOT dull. But it was tiring. Sleepy time.

Until tomorrow.

Jake

Fresher's week: Day 3

Posting this a day late because I'm awesome like that! This covers the events of Monday October 1st.

Well, the very first thing that happened was at 6:30 in the morning. I'm woken up by my phone alarm. I think to myself "Huh, it's still dark outside, why's my phone going off?" I then wonder, "This isn't my alarm ringtone, this is some strange wailing sound, what's happening?" THEN I wonder, "This is much too loud to be my alarm phone." THEN I think, "SHIT FIRE ALARM SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE!!"

It was indeed a fire drill, which there was absolutely no warning for in advance. Naturally, everyone was pissed off, but everyone running outside in their pj's and dressing gowns and duvet's was certainly an interesting experience!

The rest of day wasn't the most interesting of days, I had nearly 5 hours worth of talks from various members of staff on various topics, including police, medical, fire safety (har har) and stuff to do with my actual course, which meant I met people doing the exact same modules as me! Including someone who plays Killer Bunnies. Hell yeah.

That evening, there was a massive board game sesh in the common room, in which I played Munchkin Cthulu (I lost) and Fluxx (I lost). We then all had a MASSIVE game of Mafia, in which I was lynched by the mob in the second round, for no reason other than I had a space invaders t-shirt on!

Despite my absolute failures, I had a hell of a lot of fun, the most I've had at freshers week so far! Would choose this over a night club any day!

So yeah, that was yesterday. Will hopefully post again tonight about today's events, although it's looking to be rather dull so far. But hey, maybe I'll be surprised. :)

Until then.

Jake

Sorry I'm late

I'm having far too much fun with the crazy colours and shit.

Okay, for those who don't know me, I am Mina. I am probably the only one who drinks regularly and most likely the one who swears the most. I'm also terrible at writing and this will probably undergo at least 4 drafts. I'm studying Biomedical Science at the University of Sheffield.

Now that that's over, I'm going to do my best to update you all regularly. I know I said I'd do something by the end of freshers' week and I'm now into the second week of real university, but what can I say? Life is full of disappointment. This blog will mainly be used for random diary updates I think, with the occasional rant, embarrassing photo, and art work. Lucky you. I bet you can't wait.

FRESHERS'

Fuck yeah, that was fun. Well, fun for a while and then I got flu towards the end. Luckily, I'm not prone to hangovers so I didn't murder anyone. My flatmates are all pretty cool. We went out a lot to bars and clubs and stuff, stayed in and got to know each other, raided other flats and said hi.. I took a passive role in all the socialising but I think I've made a few friends. We also have a little ritual of making a pot of tea, so it's not all drunken antics. Because I'm from Sheffield, I showed them around town. The international market was on and there was a live band and it was sunny. It gave an extremely good first impression of Sheffield which I'm sure will disappoint them later.

There are 4 guys and 3 girls in our flat, including me (if I count as a girl). The last girl didn't show up for some mysterious reason. We also adopted another guy into our flat, he's here all the time cos his flat is a bit boring and we're all amazing. Everything was remarkably comfortable after the first day. It's like a little family already. Bevan visited and they were all very nice to him.

Registering for my course, the introductory lectures, disability shiz and student finance have all gone smoothly, which is a blessing. It usually fucks up. Still waiting for a massive fuck up.

WEEK 1

The first real uni week, our first real lectures, wearing lab coats and doing experiments on real embryos (fish ones but still). I'm still waiting to feel the break into the real world: excitement, amazement, fear... anything? Nope, it feels normal. Like school but better. I do nothing on most Wednesdays and I get to sleep in and go home early some days, which is great! 

As I predicted, the great first impression was ruined because of the rain on Monday. So were my clothes that day. My new uni hoodie was soaked right through which made my arms wet. Whyyyyy? I didn't know that was possible. I think I preferred the sun...

One of the best things I've had so far is free Domino's pizza vouchers. Mmmmm... delicious noms... There are also noodles in the union.

I've joined the Anime Society - shit stuff on Monday, good stuff on Thursday. And I did Archery on Friday! Definitely joining that. I felt like a badass. Also going to join Art Soc and maybe be a journalist for the uni paper (haha, writing skills) but I'll see if I have time.

Continuing on in true Chemistry lesson style, I am often 5 or 10 minutes late at the start of the day. I have yet to beat the half an hour late start from Ms Bates' class in A2 though.

Update: my hair is now blue.

And this is my room, I sorta tidied up for this:

P.S. Does the fact that the spell check is American annoy anyone else?

VALHALLA HUNGERS FOR YOUR SOULS!!!

I'm gonna educate you all in some Norse mythology cos its the awesome thing that people either dont know about or think its the best stuff evar!!!11!!11!!!!!!11111111

So a little history first: AAAALLLLLLL of this originated in Sweden with the Vikings who believed in multiple gods like the ancient Greeks/Romans did and of course had their own views on these. BUT this is not what I'm going to be posting about... Imma post about the stories and most awesome legends of their ods. So without further ado I'll introduce our MAIN PROTAGONISTS...... um... Gods... Lets start with the ones im gonna speak of in this post:

Odin        - All Father of Asgard. He rides the 6-legged horse, Slepnir.
Thor        - Son of Odin and Lord of Thunder.
Heimdallr - He owns Gjallarhorn. He uses his super hearing and super sight to wait and warn for Ragnarök
Týr          - God of law. His right hand bitten off by Fenrir before its capture.
Freyr       - God of fertility. Has a shining dwarvern-made boar, Gullinbursti
Vidar       - Son of Odin, God of vengeance
Sól          - Literally, the Sun as a personified entity.

You may have heard of The World Tree Yggdrasil. This is the tree of life that links the 9 worlds/realms:

Asgard        - Capital city of the Norse Gods, ruled by Odin and his wife Frigg (don't laugh Baker =P)
Vanahemir   - Home to the Vanir, a group of gods based on fertility and wisdom and can see the future
Alfheim        - Home of the Light Elves
Midgard      - Earth as we know it.... but more medieval and Viking-y
Jötunheimr   - Home of the Rock and Frost Giants
Nidavellir    - Home of the Dwarves ('CK YEAH!!) ruled by Hreiðmarr, King of the Dwarves
Muspell       - Land of fire and home of the Fire Giants
Niflheim      - The realm of primordial ice and cold
Hel             - The land of the dead

Now for our our MAIN ANTAGONISTS... I'll stop that...

Fenrir           -Son of Loki, Father of Sköll an Hati. Bound by the gods from fear of prophecies
Jörmungandr-Son of Loki. Grew so large he can wrap round the world. When he lets go the world will end.
Loki             - Shapeshifter, The Trickster
Garm           - Guardian of Hel's gate. No-one enters or leaves without permission.
Sköll           - Chaces the horses Árvakr and Alsviðr that pull the chariot that holds Sól the Sun
Hati             - Chaces the moon
Surt            - King of the fire giants

So for my first tale I shall tell the story of Ragnarök, the end of the world...


Ragnarök or Götterdämmerung begins with Fimbulvetr. Three winters pass with no summers between them. During this time many wars are faught, blood-ties cease to exist and next of kin lie dead with their brothers in arms. The wolves Sköll and Hati succeed in their tasks to devour the sun and the moon. These events plunge the world into darkness and the stars vanish from the sky. The cock Fjalar crows to the giants and the golden cock Gullinkambi crows to the gods. A third cock raise the dead (Don't giggle. This is serious shit). The Earth shudders with earthquakes and the 'inestructible' fetters (chains/restraints) Gleipnir that chain the wolf Fenrir are destroyed and Fenrir is set free. These earthquakes also freed Garm the monstrous hound and Loki which bestowed upon them a lust to kill.

The World Serpent Jörmungandr ceases to hold it's tail and rise from the waves. He swims toward Vigrid, the final battlefield of the gods, staining the land and sky with his poison. A ship from the realm of the dead, led by Loki, containing the inhabitants of hell sails toward Vigrid. The Fire Giants from Muspell make way for Vigrid to fight against the gods. They are led by Surt who weilds a sword that burns as the sun once did and scorches the Earth. Heimdallr, after watching, waiting and listening for thousands of years sounds the horn Gjallarhorn to mark the beginning of Ragnarök. The horn calls all the sons of Odin, the Dwarves, Giants, Daemons and Elves  from all corners of the nine realms to fight for or against the Gods in one last great battle.

Surt challenges Freyr to battle. Freyr has no sword and so whistles his boar but it is killed by Surt. Freyr picks up a shattered shield and throws it at the giants head hoping to blind him. However the shield bounces off his cheek, scratching him. The bloodlust and fury of Surt is focussed into one swift blow that slices Freyr in half.

The one-handed Týr will fight the monstrous hound Garmr. Týr manages to cut off the tail of Garm but he loses his sword and shield. Garm clamps his jaws around Týr's neck. He had little time. With his last ounce of strength he picked up the hound and slammed it on a sharp oak stump, broken earlier with an attempt to break Garm's back. In doing this Týr's throat is ripped out but Garm dies also.

Loki and Heimdallr fight. Loki shape-shifts into a fallen warrior of Valhalla to lure in Heimdallr and cuts at the back of his knee. Heimdallr strikes the neck of Loki but he turns into a ram and charges into Heimdallr Stomach. Loki transforms into an eagle and flies off. Heimdallr taunts Loki as he flies away, he returns to the main battle and slays giant after giant. A blast from Mjölnir sends two corpses flying past Heimdallr. One of them turns into a snake and bites deep into his cheek. Heimdallr fell to his knees, grabbed the serpent and snapped it in half. Loki is dead but Heimdallr dies from the poison.

Thor battles Jörmungandr The World Serpent. Thor, sprinting with an inhuman speed leaps at Jörmungandr and slams Mjölnir onto its black heart. Thunder roars like never before and all but odin and Fenrir pause breifly from the shcokwaves. Jörmungandr loses his ballance and falls to the ground dead. As his head hits the ground his toxic breath covers Thor. His limbs begin to seize up and knowing his great enemy is dead, he can die in honor. He collapses clutching Mjölnir for its use in the afterlife. 

After swallowing the right hand of Týr, Fenrir prowls the battlefield looking for him. Odin however attacks Fenrir and the two battle for hours. Fenrir with a quick motion swallows Odin whole. Vidar, one of Odin's sons had created a pair os shoes that had soles stronger than plate mair armour. As Odin is swallowed, Vidar arrives and lunges at Fenrir. The wolf tries to swallow Vidar but as he opens his mouth, Vidar slams his foot on Fenrir's bottom jaw doing no damage to Vidar's foot but dislocating Fenrir's jaw. Vidar grabs Fenrir's top jaw and with a mightly thrust, rips the jaws appart. Fenrir is dead.

Surt beckons the power of fire and burns all nine realms anhialating all life on them. The scorched and lifeless earth sinks into the ocean. After the destruction, a new and idyllic world rises from the sea and is filled with abundant supplies. Some of the gods survive, others are reborn. Wickedness and misery no longer exist and gods and men live happily together. The descendants of Lif and Lifthrasir - the only two humans to survive Ragnarök - inhabit this earth.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!
The first in my series of Norse myths and legends

Stokachu =3

Fresher's week: Day 2

Writing this pretty quickly as I'm about to go out to my first ever night club. Yes I am terrified, but I've found a group of people that won't be drinking or staying too long, so they are suitably boring for my tastes.

Quick review of the day, was coerced into some more "bonding games", including an especially tiring one in which you have one minute to chat to a person before moving onto another person and repeating. Kinda like speed dating, but just to find friends. Speed mating? ...God no, that sounds worse.
This lasted for fifteen minutes, and by the end my voice was sore from constantly asking questions. And I learnt jack shit from it except for a few faces. Better than nothing I guess.

*TIME SKIP*

Well, I just got back from said nightclub.

I can safely say I probably won't be doing that again.

Deafening music. Blinding lights. Took ages to get in. I paid three pounds for this? Wow.

But yeah, as much as I'm ranting and moaning about shit, something good did come out of this day. Dinner was an event known as a "formal" where everyone just dresses up in smart clothes and a gown and eats nice food. Here's me in this attire.

I got to meet some new people here, including some people doing some of the same modules as me. So that was alright.

Gotta sleep now before I fall unconscious. Just so you know, although I seem to be using the blog just to vent my rage, it's just because I'm stressed about the whole deal of living here. It really hasn't been that bad so far, all things considered. I just need to get into some form of routine. I like routines. And schedules. And timetables.

Until tomorrow.

Jake

P.S, Oh yeah, and I put face paint on. I swear I wasn't drunk.