5 Ways to Live Through Freshers Week

Hey guys!

So, I was going to make this in video form, but I really can't build up enough enthusiasm this weekend to set up my camera. Maybe if people enjoy it enough on here, I'll rethink and YouTube it.
Basically, having lived through the adventure that is Freshers Week, I thought I should give some pointers to people about to experience it (Jake, I'm looking straight at Durham right now) as to what you should do towards surviving it. Seriously, the chaoticness of this thing makes a zombie apocalypse look like a day out at Alton Towers.
... Did I just invent a word? "Chaoticness"? If so, I copyright it here and now =P
So, without further ado, here are my top tips to surviving Fresher's Week:

1) Never, ever, EVER be yourself.

This might sound weird to some people, especially as it goes against the things your parents have told you from day one. But, if you have managed to get into Uni, you're more than likely a straight-talking, academically-inclined, intelligent, efficient and, most importantly, generally sober person.
Yeah, first things first, execute this person from your personality. Or at least put them in solitary confinement for a week.
Cos in Freshers Week, your personality amp has to be turned up to 10. You have to unleash the unchained rabid animal, the self-appointed sex god and the raving mad drunkard that, deep down, you always knew you were. Because this week, anything goes.
Except murder, we found that out from experience. Oh, and sleep. You will NOT get enough sleep.

B) Meet everyone.

This is crucial. Don't talk to just the people on your hallway, talk to people on other hallways, talk to the people in the other halls, in the classrooms, on the street (unless they're asking for sponsorships for charities, they aren't interested in which degree you're doing).
Furthermore, you will ask these three questions more than you have ever said any phrase ever. Even YOLO.
"What's your name?"
"What course are you studying?"
"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" (Seriously, you'd be surprised how many people don't know)

III) Free things are good.

During Freshers Week, a lot of free things will be offered to you. TAKE THEM ALL. Honestly, I have around 4 leaflets about cervical cancer that some student rep was just handing out. Sucker.
However, there will also be a lot of subscriptions and things to pay for. These will do nothing for your student loans, and unless your dad is Mr Monopoly, you aren't made of money, so don't be tempted. Who needs accomodation insurance, healthcare or cheaper food anyway?

Vier) Know how many people are with you.

This is more an anecdote of mine. So we go to a club one night, and the price on the door is £4 entry. Ending up at the back of the group, I hand over a ten pound note to pay for myself.
Now, the more mathematically-astute, or pretty much anyone who has ever handled money ever, will be able to work out that the right amount of change is £6. I get given £2.
... Wait, what?
Turning back to the girl behind the till, I say (well, shout, it is a club after all) that my change is £4 short. She tells me that, in fact, no it isn't, and would the two of us please go inside to keep the queue moving.

... ... Wait, WHAT?!
Either I've spawned an extra person without my knowledge, or there's someone behind me getting in for free. Sure enough, the girl behind me, who only knows that I've paid for her to get in free, pretty much goes wild and hugs me in thanks.
Her 6' 7" boyfriend is not so understanding. Oh dear, time to leave.
In short (which I was compared to this monster the girl had brought out with her), I paid £8 to get into a club that, actually, I never really got into in the first place.
(Actually, I did clear it up with the two of them as a misunderstanding at the till, and the guy bought me a drink to make up for it. Which I then handed straight to my flatmate who had beaten me at poker the night before. Whole other story.)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5)) Pack light.

This isn't school anymore. If that fire alarm goes off, you don't lose your lunch, a Batman pencil case and a few Biros, you lose an entire room of booze, books, food, booze, clothes, games, booze, booze and booze. So you want your entire student life to be small enough to be able to fit into a few, easy to carry bags and boxes, and just enough stuff so that you can scramble, stuff and pack it away BEFORE the fire starts to singe your eyebrows.
Plus, rollercoasters don't let you take lots of bags on them. And trust me, University is definately a rollercoaster.



Cheesy ending, but so what, this is me we're talking about, I'm nothing if not cheesy.



Wait, that sounded bad. I'm gonna re-write this. Now, do I push the publish button to delete some of the text or-