Tuesday, 2 October 2012

VALHALLA HUNGERS FOR YOUR SOULS!!!

I'm gonna educate you all in some Norse mythology cos its the awesome thing that people either dont know about or think its the best stuff evar!!!11!!11!!!!!!11111111

So a little history first: AAAALLLLLLL of this originated in Sweden with the Vikings who believed in multiple gods like the ancient Greeks/Romans did and of course had their own views on these. BUT this is not what I'm going to be posting about... Imma post about the stories and most awesome legends of their ods. So without further ado I'll introduce our MAIN PROTAGONISTS...... um... Gods... Lets start with the ones im gonna speak of in this post:

Odin        - All Father of Asgard. He rides the 6-legged horse, Slepnir.
Thor        - Son of Odin and Lord of Thunder.
Heimdallr - He owns Gjallarhorn. He uses his super hearing and super sight to wait and warn for Ragnarök
Týr          - God of law. His right hand bitten off by Fenrir before its capture.
Freyr       - God of fertility. Has a shining dwarvern-made boar, Gullinbursti
Vidar       - Son of Odin, God of vengeance
Sól          - Literally, the Sun as a personified entity.

You may have heard of The World Tree Yggdrasil. This is the tree of life that links the 9 worlds/realms:

Asgard        - Capital city of the Norse Gods, ruled by Odin and his wife Frigg (don't laugh Baker =P)
Vanahemir   - Home to the Vanir, a group of gods based on fertility and wisdom and can see the future
Alfheim        - Home of the Light Elves
Midgard      - Earth as we know it.... but more medieval and Viking-y
Jötunheimr   - Home of the Rock and Frost Giants
Nidavellir    - Home of the Dwarves ('CK YEAH!!) ruled by Hreiðmarr, King of the Dwarves
Muspell       - Land of fire and home of the Fire Giants
Niflheim      - The realm of primordial ice and cold
Hel             - The land of the dead

Now for our our MAIN ANTAGONISTS... I'll stop that...

Fenrir           -Son of Loki, Father of Sköll an Hati. Bound by the gods from fear of prophecies
Jörmungandr-Son of Loki. Grew so large he can wrap round the world. When he lets go the world will end.
Loki             - Shapeshifter, The Trickster
Garm           - Guardian of Hel's gate. No-one enters or leaves without permission.
Sköll           - Chaces the horses Árvakr and Alsviðr that pull the chariot that holds Sól the Sun
Hati             - Chaces the moon
Surt            - King of the fire giants

So for my first tale I shall tell the story of Ragnarök, the end of the world...


Ragnarök or Götterdämmerung begins with Fimbulvetr. Three winters pass with no summers between them. During this time many wars are faught, blood-ties cease to exist and next of kin lie dead with their brothers in arms. The wolves Sköll and Hati succeed in their tasks to devour the sun and the moon. These events plunge the world into darkness and the stars vanish from the sky. The cock Fjalar crows to the giants and the golden cock Gullinkambi crows to the gods. A third cock raise the dead (Don't giggle. This is serious shit). The Earth shudders with earthquakes and the 'inestructible' fetters (chains/restraints) Gleipnir that chain the wolf Fenrir are destroyed and Fenrir is set free. These earthquakes also freed Garm the monstrous hound and Loki which bestowed upon them a lust to kill.

The World Serpent Jörmungandr ceases to hold it's tail and rise from the waves. He swims toward Vigrid, the final battlefield of the gods, staining the land and sky with his poison. A ship from the realm of the dead, led by Loki, containing the inhabitants of hell sails toward Vigrid. The Fire Giants from Muspell make way for Vigrid to fight against the gods. They are led by Surt who weilds a sword that burns as the sun once did and scorches the Earth. Heimdallr, after watching, waiting and listening for thousands of years sounds the horn Gjallarhorn to mark the beginning of Ragnarök. The horn calls all the sons of Odin, the Dwarves, Giants, Daemons and Elves  from all corners of the nine realms to fight for or against the Gods in one last great battle.

Surt challenges Freyr to battle. Freyr has no sword and so whistles his boar but it is killed by Surt. Freyr picks up a shattered shield and throws it at the giants head hoping to blind him. However the shield bounces off his cheek, scratching him. The bloodlust and fury of Surt is focussed into one swift blow that slices Freyr in half.

The one-handed Týr will fight the monstrous hound Garmr. Týr manages to cut off the tail of Garm but he loses his sword and shield. Garm clamps his jaws around Týr's neck. He had little time. With his last ounce of strength he picked up the hound and slammed it on a sharp oak stump, broken earlier with an attempt to break Garm's back. In doing this Týr's throat is ripped out but Garm dies also.

Loki and Heimdallr fight. Loki shape-shifts into a fallen warrior of Valhalla to lure in Heimdallr and cuts at the back of his knee. Heimdallr strikes the neck of Loki but he turns into a ram and charges into Heimdallr Stomach. Loki transforms into an eagle and flies off. Heimdallr taunts Loki as he flies away, he returns to the main battle and slays giant after giant. A blast from Mjölnir sends two corpses flying past Heimdallr. One of them turns into a snake and bites deep into his cheek. Heimdallr fell to his knees, grabbed the serpent and snapped it in half. Loki is dead but Heimdallr dies from the poison.

Thor battles Jörmungandr The World Serpent. Thor, sprinting with an inhuman speed leaps at Jörmungandr and slams Mjölnir onto its black heart. Thunder roars like never before and all but odin and Fenrir pause breifly from the shcokwaves. Jörmungandr loses his ballance and falls to the ground dead. As his head hits the ground his toxic breath covers Thor. His limbs begin to seize up and knowing his great enemy is dead, he can die in honor. He collapses clutching Mjölnir for its use in the afterlife. 

After swallowing the right hand of Týr, Fenrir prowls the battlefield looking for him. Odin however attacks Fenrir and the two battle for hours. Fenrir with a quick motion swallows Odin whole. Vidar, one of Odin's sons had created a pair os shoes that had soles stronger than plate mair armour. As Odin is swallowed, Vidar arrives and lunges at Fenrir. The wolf tries to swallow Vidar but as he opens his mouth, Vidar slams his foot on Fenrir's bottom jaw doing no damage to Vidar's foot but dislocating Fenrir's jaw. Vidar grabs Fenrir's top jaw and with a mightly thrust, rips the jaws appart. Fenrir is dead.

Surt beckons the power of fire and burns all nine realms anhialating all life on them. The scorched and lifeless earth sinks into the ocean. After the destruction, a new and idyllic world rises from the sea and is filled with abundant supplies. Some of the gods survive, others are reborn. Wickedness and misery no longer exist and gods and men live happily together. The descendants of Lif and Lifthrasir - the only two humans to survive Ragnarök - inhabit this earth.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!
The first in my series of Norse myths and legends

Stokachu =3 Spr 2c 025.gif

4 comments:

  1. This is brilliant!! I knew some stuff about ragnarok to begin with, like Thor battling Jormungand, but little else. My dads's really into Norse mythology, he says it trumps Greek mythology any day.

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  2. ^ Greek shit is shit XD
    This is violence for the sake of awesome.... hence IT IS AWESOME

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  3. I literally giggled, then read the part that said "(don't laugh Baker =P)" and just laughed harder XD

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